Its a profound loss. That I’m working on. To recover from. Not having a mother or father. I’m not sure that the feeling of loss, is valid. But. I’ve always felt the loss. Maybe didn’t know the right words to express, or even know what the emotion, feeling was. But. What I do know, is that the feeling, the mourning. The emotion is real. Not having a mother or father, is not upfront. I had parents. The experience, the life. As I’ve shared, wasn’t ideal. But, I’ve known folk that experienced, even worse. But my experience. Is all that I can handle. And I’m still not over it. Yes. I function. I live. I breathe. I’ve made my own family. I laugh. I have a life. My own. But. I still mourn, not having my own. blood. Maybe, if I had had a life that was better, after being given up. Given away. I’d feel, a bit satisfied? Still wanna know? But. At the least I would had something to hold on to. I appreciate my cousins, from my adopted side. I appreciate my Friends, as I consider a couple of them like Sisters. Maybe. Because I don’t have any. That I can call. Or they call me. Waz up, Lady! that kind of shit. I know families aren’t perfect, ideal. Folk hate on each other. But. I’ve seen families where they will kill each other, then. Fight for each other. And that. Is what I miss. I wish for. Won’t happen. I know that. So those that see my posts. Try not to judge. Its a window into my world. And I’m just crazy enough to put it out there. If there’s anything you get or come away with. Remember, keep in mind. Don’t take your Family, your Mother. Your Father. You Sister. Your Brother. Your Babies. For granted. Hate on ’em. They gets on your inner nerves. But. Don’t take the Blood. The relationship made through your Mom and Dad. For granted. Maybe some of Ya’ll don’t give a damn about Family. I’m not one of those. I taught Joey and Paul, Consistently, Stick together, Fight. But out in the world? you cover for each other. See to each other. And today, that’s exactly how they are. Apples and Oranges, they are. But thick as thieves. This. Is what I wished for my Life. And why I harped on them, so many times. In my life, It didn’t happen, won’t happen. It is what it is. I still mourn for a life, I think should’ve happened. Whether its right. Or wrong. I don’t give a damn. Its something I wanted, that didn’t happen. I struggle with folk I see, know. and they have family. It brings all kinds of sadness. It’s something one day, I’ll accept. One day. Meanwhile, I enjoy watching the life of Paul. With his wife and kids. Jamie & Co. How a Family survives, functions and behaves. No perfection. No lovey dubby awl the time, for sure. But. Family. Blood. Blood lines. That no one would dare penetrate, without a price to be paid. As it should be.